Maybe it’s just because I’ve been watching every Stefon sketch ever lately but the Olympic opening ceremonies could easily be summarized in the form of a Stefon bit.
“This year’s hottest summer event is the Olympics. And this event has everything! Voldemort, a brigade of sick children, aristocrats doing kung fu… and look over there, is that Paul McCartney? No, it’s someone’s grandma poorly singing Hey Jude endlessly into the night!”
Combine complete 54-card (jokers too!) playing-card decks per number of players.
3: 1 Deck
4-6: 2 Decks
7+: 3 Decks
Deal each player 5 cards and pour each player a drink (or get ‘em a beer). Then, each player chooses a card from his/her hand and places it face-down in front of them. After each player has his/her face-down card set, each player gets the chance to play face-cards from their hand to make awesome things happen.
Jack: Target player drinks.
Queen: Cancels any face-card played against you. The player whose card you are canceling must drink. A Queen can cancel a Queen ad naseum.
King: Force target player to switch face-down cards w/ you. Target must drink.
Ace: Target must drink, discard his/her face-down card and play another from his/her hand. If the target has no remaining cards in hand, he/she must drink again.
Joker: Target must finish his/her drink.
After everyone’s played the cards they want to play, each player flips their cards over. The player with the highest card is the winner of the round, and each other player must drink. Players then draw back up to 5 cards and play continues. The game is over when someone passes out!
Other things to know:
When there’s a tie after each player flips their cards over, those tied players settle it by playing ‘War’ with the remaining cards in their hand, before re-drawing. The loser has (gets) to drink and additional time.
Players may make side-bets(for drinks, clothing items, or blood) regarding their face-down card (“I’ll bet X drinks my card is higher/lower than yours… etc.).
At any point in the game a player may reveal and discard 4-of-a-kind from their hand of any card. Whatever card that was, the corresponding “King’s Cup” rule for the house takes effect. Four Jokers wins you the game, I guess. Maybe something better? I dunno…
“For me, the most ironic token of [the first human moon landing] is the plaque signed by President Richard M. Nixon that Apollo 11 took to the moon. It reads, ‘We came in peace for all Mankind.’ As the United States was dropping seven and a half megatons of conventional explosives on small nations in Southeast Asia, we congratulated ourselves on our humanity. We would harm no one on a lifeless rock. That plaque is there still, attached to the base of the Apollo 11 lunar module on the airless desolation of the Sea of Tranquillity. If no one disturbs it, it will still be readable a million years from now.”—
“American works of art belong to the American public; they are part of our cultural history.
People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians”—